Invent A New Theory

[eurocentric]

There's a counted 86 different theories all vying to explain the DPI, some more inventive or conspirational than others. Let's help get it up to 100 by inventing new theories which appear to explain most things.

It doesn't need to be serious, make it fun. After all some of the existing ones can't be entirely serious, can they?

#87 Mass Sleepwalking Event

The hikers stirred in their sleep, due to trying for a cold night without their stove and vodka nightcaps, and all as one rose, but with their eyes shut they could not work out how to open the buttoned tent flap, they kept going to the other end, and in their frustration they cut their way out, and like zombies they walked off in single file, some half-dressed and minus footwear down the cold dark mountain.

Not stopping, several of them walked straight into a ravine, only waking when they seriously injured themselves, and others marched into the forest until they bumped into trees or low hangig branches, sustaining head injuries. Then they could not find their way back to the tent in the dark so made a fire and den where they were, but were unable to survive there.

[GlennM]

Eurocentric, your send up of the DPI reminds us all that things can be logical but not probable. Evidence can explain much and still be wrong. It is also helpful that by exploring the extreme, we will swing back to the mean. It is natural to do so.

I consider post to be an invitation to open the discussion widely. Working backwards, we eliminate the unwise and unreasonable.  I think even the DP9 would share your sense of the absurd and smile at the effort.

OK, a couple of sleepwalkers headed into the trees, nobody saw it coming. Bonk!

[Manti]

#88 Yudin, the psychopath
Yuriy Yudin tells the group he cannot continue due to joint pain, and gets on Uncle Slava's sled. However, a few minutes later after the group departs, he feigns realizing that he left something in the wooden house at 2nd North. Uncle Slava offers to wait for him, he thanks him for his effort but says that it might take a while to find what he lost, and tells him not to wait.


He then follows the Dyatlov Group's tracks through the forest and ambushes them on the slope of Kholat Syakhl shortly after they set up their tent. Why? His twisted mind has been dreaming of murder ever since he was a little boy. And the opportunity to commit the perfect crime presents itself. Everyone will think it was a hiking accident. He carefully manipulates the scene so there is nothing that can arouse suspicion, takes some of the food of the group and retraces the ski tracks back to Vizhay. He then takes the train to Sverdlovsk. His plan worked.

(Disclaimer: The above is purely a work of fiction...)

[eurocentric]

#89 Mad Owl Attack

The Snowy Owl hunts by day out there, because as all its prey are in bed during the freezing nights. Sensing a storm was approaching it flew into the open tent flap on 1079 as the light faded, thinking it a warm hollow to shelter in.

Inside was pandemonium, as it flapped above the hikers heads in the confined ridge space, its talons threatening everyone and snatching at hair as it screeched loudly.

Igor tried to wrangle it but his arm was scratched, and it severed Zina's hand with its sharp beak. The hikers blatted at it with ski poles and a camera tripod, damaging both, but still the maniacal raptor persisted until, like Quint with the barrel-roped shark in Jaws threatening to sink the 'Orca', Yuri K cut the canvas to let the bird escape.

Dazed and confused and fearing its return, and the tent now unusable, the hikers headed to the forest to make a fire. But as they climbed a tree to get firewood the owl staged its revenge attack on vulnerable humans now in its domain, causing them to fall and injure themselves.

Under such aerial bombardment ex-soldier Semyon suggested they adopt trench warfare and go and hide in the ravine, but the stealth owl attacked them there too, causing them to fall into it, injuring them and saturating their clothes, sealing their fate from hypothermia.

Semyon managed to capture the attacker on film:
https://dyatlovpass.com/resources/340/gallery/Zolotaryov-camera-04.jpg

[GlennM]

The UFO, was manned by space Yeti, the captain curiously resembling a wolverine had just dodged a loopy Soviet rocket.  Landing  in the middle of nowhere, they dumped a load of snow an old pointy canvas tent just underneath. When the digruntled occupants sliced their way free, the aliens offered shelter for the night. It  went well. Inside in the dark and unfamiliar confines, there was some bumping and bruising but there was also vodka, a mandolin and spaceman cigarettes. Meanwhile, the annual Northern Ural assassin's "Killers -R-Us" convention was interrupted. They went out to investigate the hubbub on snowmobiles. They came across soldiers dressed as convicts (or was it the other way around)? Seizing the moment card game ensued. After much drinking and carousing, things took a turn for worse. The losers, literally lost their shirts and were found later by Mansi looking for shrooms. The UFO and it guests were already gone. Rumor has it they are all alive and well, currently living under the radar in area 51.

[cib]

I am the first to use a sense of humor in my life, but not in the face of the bloody and traumatic death of 9 people. This thread is a shame that degrades the memory of the deceased and dishonors the families of the victims. Not everything goes...

[anna_pycckux]

#100 "They died because of poor equipment, from hunger and cold" (an artistic statement of my fantastic assumption"
Dyatlov's group went camping with very poor equipment, with a torn tent, in light jackets, with a meager supply of food. Here's how UPI sent them. At the beginning of February, they occupied the top of Otorten, descended to the slope of 1079, and then a strong storm arose. It was impossible to get out of the tent, all attempts to get to the supplies ended in failure. The guys lay huddled together, but they still froze and slowly died.
When the parents began to worry, UPI put them on the wanted list. Immediately there was a suspicion that the guys could have died from hunger and cold. The party organs, having learned about the tragedy at the 21st Congress of the CPSU, issued an order: "No one should guess that Soviet tourists died of hunger and cold." During the search work, the searchers were provided with alcohol and ordered to cut the tent so that old holes and seams could not be seen. Sharavin and Slobtsov, drunk, carried out the order, cutting the tent with an ice axe, and together with the tent and barely alive guys. At night, the military dragged the dead down the slope. especially the wounded were thrown into the stream. The supply laboratory was filled with sausage, butter, condensed milk. Crackers and smoked meat were scattered in the tent. The search, so to speak, has begun....

There is such a book "Two captains" by the writer Kaverin. It says how the person who was instructed to provide the team with good equipment and products did not fulfill the contract. Because of poor equipment, the entire team of researchers died.

[anna_pycckux]

Mikhail Sharavin tells how he and Slobtsov cut the tent with an ice axe, looked inside, saw things, a stove with firewood, cameras, a flask of alcohol.  They took the flask of alcohol with them and went to the search engine camp.

[amashilu]

I am the first to use a sense of humor in my life, but not in the face of the bloody and traumatic death of 9 people. This thread is a shame that degrades the memory of the deceased and dishonors the families of the victims. Not everything goes...

Yeah, I kind of agree with cib here. This is a public forum and we don't know who might check in; the last thing we want is to create an appearance of disrespect or mockery. Let's close this thread.